I’ve been struggling with so many issues and so many insights most especially in my dreams.  I’ve always been a dreamer…”but I’m not the only one”…  🙂

Before I woke, I was at a friend’s house…a cyber friend…and her roof needed repairing.  As I stood there with her, a man walks in and it’s my grandpa…he calls out my name.  I run into his arms and we hug…just hug.  And of course, I’m fighting back the tears.

He explains that no matter what he’s doing, he’s always going to stop for his “oldest granddaughter”.  He was so happy to see me…and I him.  He asked why I was crying, “I missed you” was all I could say.

This man was the only human being in my life who looked out for me…who actually, actively defended me from whatever and whomever he deemed necessary…including the maternal.  (on a side note, I think that pissed her off royally and she made sure to punish me for taking her dad away from her).

So, in the shadow of the dreams of abuse and being all alone, my grandpa steps onto the stage to remind me that I’m not alone.  And part of what I’m taking away from it is that I need to look after myself as he looked after me…no more self abuse…no more letting anyone push me around.

Now, that’s easier said than done, but maybe with his help…