Okay, I know that it is a human thing to latch onto a label and thereby hinder any growth beyond said label. But, ’tis not the case for me.
I’ve donned so many labels in search of my identity that I think I just sort of floated out to space when it comes to over-identifying with any one in particular. In fact, I find that labels are simply starting points for me to do my research.
I was gently reminded by my counselor today that maybe a label with which I identify is not really what I think it is…it is, but I let her do her thing. I will think about it, but I’m pretty sure of this particular “label” so won’t be letting anyone tell me I’m not (that goes for most of the ones I claim anyway).
The point, however, is well taken. We can limit ourselves if we hold too tightly to any one in particular…a good example is abuse victim…firstly, I hate the word victim…it’s a power-sapping word. I prefer survivor…but even that can hold one back if it’s kept to close.
I don’t quite have a word for all my amazing and “different” characteristics that make me, me. One thing we did hone in on was that I am still very self critical. I “accidentally” let out words that betray that…and fortunately, she caught them when I didn’t.
I do still blame myself for so much of what the evil asshole did. Some of it fits. Most of it really needs to be on his shoulders and not mine. But that’s a good working point. Thus, my homework is to work on some meditation and being more gentle with myself. Tell myself the good stuff and limit the negative crap, ’cause really, I’ve heard it my whole life and don’t need to do it to myself.
So, for a short list of my positive qualities:
I am – kind, gentle, loving, smart, empathetic, fair (as in trying to do the right thing, not gorgeous 🙂 – I guess that’s enough to start.
Should you care to comment, tell me what some of YOUR good qualities are. 🙂