There was some discussion that I may be sensitive because I was forced into it via severe abuse. Okay, yes, my take is I am likely hyper-sensitive because of the abuse…but I stand firm on being born an HSP/HSE.
I’m wired differently and I rather like it that way. Oh, yes, it made life difficult in this world, but still…I prefer my “uniqueness” over sameness.
I found a screw in my tire yesterday. Now, that sounds “normal” enough. Except ea was well known to put screws under tires of people he hated…and in such a way as to make sure they would be nicely inserted into said tire upon moving the vehicle. I could be paranoid simply because of all the crap, but my gut says otherwise…and synchronicity says my gut is right on.
So, he took the time to wander around the house (and my feline guards would confirm this) and set a new, white screw under my tire. Now I’ll have to have that fixed. I’m assured by a friend that I should be able to drive on it without incident. But a can of “fix-a-flat” will be purchased forthwith.
I have been sort of beating myself up (self abuse) because I can’t anticipate all these passive-aggressive attacks. But then I realize – I should be proud of myself that my mind doesn’t work that way. I remember when ea tried to get me to do his dirty work…as he does with so many flying monkeys…but now I’m out of his influence. Now I get to be me…and me does not have the time or energy to be bothered with petty, evil acts.
No, I’ll stick to working on myself and getting healed from so much abuse and moving forward. And he’ll get no contact from me best I can. No response. No complaint. Nothing to feed the darkness in him. I’m not a source. Fuck with me and I’ll simply move out of the way and keep going in my direction.
I am happy. Most days and most of the time, I’m really happy and content. There’s plenty of anxiety to be had when I time travel (worry about the future) but here and now, I’m good. My life is worth living. I don’t need to waste my life with foolish behavior. In that, I’m so glad I don’t think like that.