Gosh, I hope I spelled that correctly.

As is my practice, I think, I think some more, I ponder, I wrap my brain around it all…then I pull a card or several and end up finding out that my feelings are my biggest (and most accurate) compass.

It is kind of cool.  And the farther I get from thinking the clearer and more guidance I seem to get along the way.  For me, feeling is not exactly easy.  Denied the expression of feelings pretty much from day one, it’s almost like I’m learning a foreign language.

Yet, with all my idiosyncrasies, it’s actually my strongest sense.  So, I’m learning to interpret feelings – physical, emotional, all of it.  That means, first of all, noticing them.  Dissociation has been a constant companion.  That was how I processed emotions.  Now…while I feel lost most of the time, I still feel (oh, look, I actually used the word 😉 a great sense of adventure involved.

It’s almost like being taken from the woods as a baby fairy and upon returning, you suddenly realize that this is what home feels like…even tho’ you’ve never been there before (or at least since your kidnapping).

The less I try to translate feeling into thought and/or words, the more accurate the feelings get.  The only complication is when I try to explain it to another human being or write it down for myself.  I guess that will come in time.  But for now, that weird look on my face is me feeling all the cool stuff that I can’t tell you about.  🙂