Watched the video below…Dana has some really good ones…subscribe to her channel if you please.

I have this weird thing where I don’t generally know what I want or like or need…yes, that sounds totally out there.  But consider – someone who was raised with no boundaries allowed.  This little soul was TOLD what she wanted, what she liked, what she needed (mostly so she wouldn’t need much of anything) – when you’re brainwashed from an early age, you don’t really know what you think or feel…think cult tactics…because that’s pretty much what I was dealing with.  Constant gaslighting by the maternal, constant abuse for any attempt at individuation – intense suppression of wants, needs or emotional anything.

So, as a child I was not allowed nor taught how to figure out anything.  I’m only just now learning how to figure out what I feel in any given moment.  When I’ve been asked what I like or want to do…I really didn’t know.  And I guess that seems too unfathomable to most that I’m earmarked as either insincere or weird.

But I’ve been learning.  I’ve been naming my feelings – which, btw…is an excellent exercise for anyone who’s been abused or suppressed by someone else.  Just pausing to feel and then name the feeling.  Then you can move on to why you’re feeling that way, but there’s no solution or working anything out if you don’t yet know WHAT you’re feeling.

I’m comparing this video to a recent thing about holding up something you own and if it doesn’t give you joy, ditch it.  This is pretty much like that…just on a scale.  For anyone not yet sure how to work this, I think I’d allow 8s as well…just until you get used to doing it.  But I’ve been clearing my space.  And much of it is just going to good will because I can’t seem to sell any of it.  Yes, the money would be very helpful, but my peace of mind is more important.  So, I’m clearing out the junk.  Garbage days get extra items in the bin.  When I drive in the direction of the good will drop offs, I swing by with a bag or two.

Now…most of what I work on has little to do with my physical environment – just that where I live has a large impact on my emotional well-being.  The things in my world that are 9s or 10s are non-negotiable.  My feline family.  10s all around.  A very few possessions make the cut.  Most of what I “need” has to do with comfort.  My various physical ailments require some comfort or I’d be in a constant flare.  That’s no way to live.

Spiritually – that’s my wheel house.  That’s where I find it easier to learn and grow.  I still deal with the abuse deprogramming issues.  But even that gets better when my spiritual work is “in the zone”.  Thus – my cards would rank up there…all differing in hierarchy depending on my mood and needs.  I may do a review of a couple decks in the future as I’ve found a couple that seem to work really well for me.

And now I’m just rambling…so I’ll close this…but it’s a good practice to start or continue…how does something rank in your life?  Then decide if it’s worth keeping or if it’s occupying space meant for something better.

 

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