It has come to my attention that April is autism awareness month.  I had cause to tune into my own sensitivities in the last couple days, so it seemed appropriate to leave a little post.

In the spirit of autism awareness, one thing that does not get the light shined on it very well is being a female with autism and being a mature female with autism.

It’s mainly a male thing in the eyes of whomever it is that decides these things.  And, the focus is placed on the youngins – and that makes sense since if we have made it thus far without help, I guess we can make it the rest of the way…

But it’s not fair.  So, let me give a little Grrr for those of us who have had to walk this Aspergers/Autism path on our own without any help or direction.  First, you spend years and years not even knowing that you are autistic.  All you know is you’re an ill fit for most of the world in which you live.  Then if and when you figure out that you are (all hail the information age), you are pushed aside by the various professionals who are supposed to help you get this Dx.

Why?  Well, it’s not like we want to go there.  We’re not looking for all this attention.  But it sure would be nice to have a few bits of help or understanding in place.  Yes, we did make it this far – but it sure wasn’t an easy climb.  If there are services or even just coping skills available, why are we not allowed access just because of our gender or age?

I have the distinct pleasure of not only having Asperger’s but also being an HSP/HSE and and INFJ to boot.  What does that mean?  It means my sensitivities are pretty much off the chart.  Overwhelm and overstimulation are near constants.  Oh, I’ve learned how to cope, but not without some issues.

One example that will soon be upon me is the noise that comes with the warmer weather.  The longer days means people are out and about in hordes.  Vehicles with loud exhausts like to gun it over and over while the sun shines.  (we won’t even talk about what goes on after dark)  When it’s warm, I cannot have the windows open.  First, getting over heated is bad for my health issues.  (fms, ddd, et al)  Then the noise is too much.  So, even on a wonderful, cool summer night, I have to close the windows.

When it’s too warm to sleep without AC I have to run it in another room and use fans to direct the cold air to my bedroom.  And i have a very, very quiet fan in here in order to not be awakened by the noise of it all.

I’ve had to be extremely creative in  my coping.  If you were to go to a bar.  Band playing, people yelling and talking and the lights flashing and various smells with booze and humans.  Think about that for a minute.  It’s a lot of input, right?  But for a nt it’s not a bad thing and most enjoy it.  For those of us with sensitivities, that is our constant in the daily so-called quiet life.  That’s what it feels like to us all the time.  Would you want to live with that all day every day?

So, I haven’t really got a good closing for this.  I just wanted to make my post for autism awareness and add a few things for we sensitive folks.

What is nothing to you is like cymbals while sleeping to us.

 

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