It’s an over-used word. But, alas, it’s the best one for the subject at hand.
As an empath, hsp, etc I know only too well how it is to live as a chameleon. To adjust who and what I am in order to keep the peace and avoid abuse. Been there, done that, been there several more times just to learn the lesson.
Now…now is a whole different thing. Now, the goal (or rather the journey) is about becoming ME. Who and what I am is paramount now. Being genuine; being me; being what I was born to be. Sounds like a destiny-oriented viewpoint doesn’t it? Well, what’s wrong with that? We are all here for a reason. Not everyone is meant to be famous and make the world change or alter direction. But…in some small way, we are.
There is a chain reaction to our everyday behavior. What you send out not only affects those around you, but also those who are in the path of those you’ve touched…whether for good or bad. (not to mention the return vibrations)
When you spend all your time trying not to be wrong; trying to be correct; trying to please anyone around you, you lose who you are. You lose your authenticity when you are required to alter yourself for the sake of another. And, in that vein, you also fail to give what is needed to those who would benefit from you being YOU.
The interconnectedness of this universe is overlooked all the time. And, really, we’re only human, so we can’t expect too much in the day-to-day. But I like to see it as a spider web. I know, I know…many will be totally creeped out by the spider stuff. But you know what? I used to be as well. Now, they are my friends and guideposts. The spider became a very important messenger for me. So much so that now when I see one, there is still an inkling of startle response simply from conditioning, but in general, I don’t freak out any more. I become calm and contemplative. What do you want to tell me, Grandma Spider. This title I got from the dreamcatcher story when I was researching them so I could make one to help alleviate my nightmares.
That web is hard to see. We can attest to that as we do our ninja dance when we’ve inadvertently walked thru one on the way to the car. The spider sits out of sight, touching the web. Now, there are a lot of threads on that web. Too many to possibly keep track of all of them, right? But the spider weaves in such a way that all of the threads are tied into just a couple upon which she rests her feet. Those few then communicate the vibrations from elsewhere on the web. Then, the spider follows the vibrations until she finds her prey – or the leaf that needs to be removed. 🙂
So, understanding how the spider’s web works, consider that you are also sending out vibrations in the web of the universe. Each step you take alerts someone else to your presence. Each smile you share cheers not only the one person who sees it, but all the others down the line who continue to share a smile – all sparked by yours.
It’s like ripples on the water; vibrations on the web; however you need to see it in your mind so it makes sense to you. Once you have that image, everything you do changes.
If I were to agree to something I hate now, it would totally mar my mood, which in turn would transfer to anyone with whom I come into contact. And then they would take that and transfer it to their down line. This makes my choices and my behavior so much more important than previously realized.
Do you live with someone? What happens when the house rules are neglected? And what happens to the mood of all involved? We never think that our little world is that powerful, but it is…and with great power comes great responsibility. (Yay, Peter Parker’s Uncle)
Your life changes when you choose to live authentically. When you start to make choices based on your own inner guidance and integrity. Being genuine; being authentic is paramount to doing what you were sent here to do. Do you want to live your destiny and change the world? Then you have to begin in your own little corner of it…and the only way to do that is to be you. No one else can do your work. You have to do it.
I’ve taken the long way around this subject, but you know what? That’s how I’m wired. Even when I ramble on, it’s being who I am; being authentic. Not everyone is going to like me or my ways. Hell, very few probably ever will. But it’s become such a deep siren’s song for me that I move more and more in that direction and the opinions of those who don’t like me get less and less important. It’s an amazing thing to look back at the fight or flight behavior of trying to keep the peace. Then to look at now, to see myself working to just be me (and really, once you get the hang of it, it’s not so hard and you realize how much energy you were wasting trying to please everyone else). I’m not condoning being a jerk. Do no harm. So if you’re using “I’m just being authentic” to be an ass, well, that’s just wrong.
When you discover your inner being; when you choose the path of you and authenticity, it changes you. and it changes you for the better in so many ways. Your tribe can finally find you – because before this, they didn’t recognize you. Now, the ones who are made to love and support you start to show up because “there you are”.
The first steps can be difficult and scary. But I will tell you one day you will look back and realize they were worth every second of it.